The real, lived experience of parenting bears little resemblance to what I had imagined as a young, childless woman! The reality is so much more layered than any fantasy could have captured. There are facets to this experience I never considered: the identity shifts, the relationship changes, the constant questioning of every decision, the guilt that seems to accompany so many moments, the way time moves both agonizingly slow and just as fast, the isolation that can creep in, the loss of self that sometimes occurs before you figure out how to reconstruct who you are in this new role.

I’ve had to let go of the fantasy I once held about what parenting would be. The reality is messier, more complex, more demanding than any vision could have prepared me for. The pursuit of getting it all right is absolutely draining. And yet, with all things considered, I would choose these littles again without hesitation. The growth, the stretching, the becoming it requires of me: it’s all worth it. My children are worth it. This is parenting, basically!